Bethenny frankel coming from a place of yes barnes

Your chatty banter made me feel as if I were like Jill Zarin hanging out with you in the Hamptons! How did you come up with the ten rules? Bethenny: The ten rules are exactly what goes into my mind on a daily basis keeping me naturally thin in any circumstance. They are the commandments which are often broken which is okay. Jen: Which of the ten is the most challenging for you to follow? How so? It is revolutionary because it is so stupid it's smart.

Please share with my readers its origin. And, will it be available to purchase sometime soon? Bethenny: I created the Skinnygirl Margarita because everyone wants a margarita but no one wants calories. Skinnygirl Margarita is the margarita you can trust. It will be in stores in June in a single 4 serving bottle including the alcohol: open and serve and only 96 calories a serving. Will you be writing a cookbook to complement the Naturally Thin Program?

Jen: BethennyBakes is your line of all natural baked goods. Where can we buy your products? Bethenny: BethennyBakes are low fat wheat, egg and dairy free cookies available at www. Jen: As if you were not busy enough, you also write a monthly column for Health Magazine.

What are the latest trends in cooking? How do you incorporate them into your own lifestyle? Bethenny: I don't believe in trendy cooking. People want to eat what they're craving. What I do is renovate fattening recipes so everyone can enjoy them with no sacrifice in taste. Similarly, I'm a fixologist making fattening cocktails light. Book tour? Any upcoming appearances? I hope so! Bethenny: I'm doing a nationwide book tour. They're in my email signature, on my website and on Facebook.

Jen: Any upcoming appearances? Jen: Thank you so much for stopping by to chat with my readers. You are such an inspiration to many! Keep those Skinnygirl Margaritas coming!! I wish you all the best! Bethenny: Thank you! I hope you have enjoyed my interview with Bethenny. Better yet, how would you like to win one instead? Answer the following trivia question and be one of five lucky winners.

Later this month, I will be bringing to you my interview with the talented debut novelist Katherine Howe. Until next time Jen When a twist of fate landed Jennifer at the "Reading with Ripa" roundtable discussion with Kelly Ripa and Meg Cabot, she knew that her career as a French teacher would essentially be over.

As is typical in her whirlwind life, one thing led to another and soon she found herself facilitating a popular moms' book club and writing a column she cleverly named Jen's Jewels. Jewelry is one of her many addictions, as is the color pink and Lilly Pulitzer, which when you think about it, would probably make for a good story!

As a national trainer for The Arthritis Foundation's Aquatic and Land Exercise Classes, she is an advocate for those like herself who suffer from arthritis, the nation's 1 cause of disability. When asked how she manages to do all of these things and actually get some sleep at night, she simply replied, "It's just Par for the Course. Kelly Bensimon has really been getting bashed. I think no one could believe it when they saw her, because it took them back to high school and that mean girl.

She is training me to be a geisha. The Countess is getting divorced, and Kelly recently beat someone up. What do you think about these recent events? So how did you get into cooking? I loved it my entire life, and I always wanted to go into health. It has definitely evolved, though. And how did you get into natural foods? I am extremely healthy now, but a couple of years ago, I was obsessed with food and dieting, and I was 20 to 30 pounds overweight.

What are some food items everyone should always have in their kitchen? Pureed vegetables in the freezer, soups, whole grain bread, hummus, edamame, gazpacho for the summertime, cucumber for salads because it is a diuretic, brown rice, cans of white tuna Costco has the best , all-natural peanut butter, a chunk of parmesan and nuts. Basically, if you have a green, a nut and a cheese, you can make a great salad. I also love frozen butternut squash and sweet potatoes, which are so easy to make.

I mean, I go out a lot and I make for myself a lot, too. You have to live. I teach people how to drink and how much to drink rather than not drink at all. What was the last thing you ate? A frittata at the hotel and at 2 a.

And you also have some upcoming releases? Yes, my SkinnyGirl Cocktail will be in stores in June. Also, in January , I will be releasing a book that is kind of like a food diary following 21 days of my meals. When was the last time you took a vacation? For the love of God -- a vacation? I went to Aruba with Jill over Christmas and let me tell you, that was not a vacation.

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Plus, she's just so damn candid, and th I'm a fan of Bethenny Frankel though not an undiscerning one. Plus, she's just so damn candid, and that always works for me. She's an acquired taste, I guess. In terms if advice and empowerment I think this book works. I wanted to hand it to my teenage step daughter. There's a lot in there that's relatable and clear for young women like "breaking the chain" i. Also, the idea that you have to work to make yourself stand out and "go for yours".

There's lots of advice about not listening to the critics, following your own goals and making things happen. I also like her advice on "coming together", though that phrase is a bit awkward; too many self help books with career advice are singularly focused and ignore the obvious by not giving credit to the people around you who can help you attain your goals.

She encourages us to connect with our family and loved ones and to be conscious of their needs, hopes, dreams, and goals. Everyone matters. Though she admits that this doesn't come naturally to her as she's used to fending for herself and flying solo. Coming together allows you to share in your accomplishments and failures - both are a little sweeter when you're not doing it all on your own.

There's a lot more there, and I think her fans will appreciate the book and the advice she gives. I personally think it's a great book for Gen Y women heading out on their own making their way in the world. I wish I had read something like this at that age.

The closest I got to this was Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People", solid advice but a book like Bethenny's, from a woman's perspective, would have been a lot easier to connect with! The book was pleasant as a quasi-autobiography. Her self-help principles are sound, but I would quibble they are "not for all. I think this might be most helpful for women in their late twenties to late forties. For an older woman? For someone in dire poverty?

The shifts she expounds are hopeless. So I watched "some" of the Houswives series,but could not take the encouragement of these ladies to live beyond their means so many facing court and foreclosures due to overexpenditure. Something you aren't suppose to say I've seen one too many biochemical engineers bagging at Walmart lately.

Tell them to turn to their dream when they just want to get the electric bill paid. Nonetheless, I'd put her a step above those carping harpies on the show with her. I should add her "rules": 1. Break the Chain. This has a lot to do with family and your past. Let it go. Find Your Truth. What do you want from life. What works for you i. Act On It. Make things happen. Use your instincts. Everything's Your Business. Remain open to all learning, experiences and opportunities.

You never know. All roads lead to Rome. You will get there if you are focused. Your perceptions about everything that you've ever done and everything that has ever happened to you all come from your mind. Change your mind, and things change. However, coming from a place of yes goes a step further. You change your mind, and then you act on it. You don't wait for someone or something else to do it for you. No excuses. No luck. No passing the buck.

A place of yes is about taking responsibility for moving forward, even if you have to climb over a mountain of obstacles. You are in charge, nobody else. A place of yes is your engine. Your energy changes, and people around you sense it. They want it to rub off on them, and it does.

Incredible opportunities start happening and people start reacting differently to you. The world around you changes, not because the universe suddenly decides you are worthy, but because you change it. You stop being a victim and you start being the ruler of your own destiny.

And that, my friend, is the point and purpose of coming from a place of yes. The bottom line is that when you come from a place of yes, you don't wish something to happen. You make it happen. You are driving. You don't daydream in the passenger seat of life; you don't hand over the work you need to do to somebody else and then sit back, waiting to reap rewards that never come. You don't wait. Instead, think about the things that you wish would happen to you in your life.

Are you waiting for them to happen? Deep down, do you think they won't happen? This can apply to anything—getting a job, finding love, losing weight, making more money, getting organized, making more time for family, whatever it is. How proactive are you being in reaching that desire? Coming from a place of yes is hard work, but it's the work of a lifetime, your lifetime.

Your Noise, Your Voice Another important concept to understand is the difference between noise and voice. I first heard the term "noise" years ago, from Breck Costin, a life coach who teaches a course called Absolute Freedom, about how to clarify what you are doing with your life. He used the term in a different way, but it resonated for me. I've thought about it over the years since then, and developed the idea into something that works for me. To me, noise is what gets in your way.

It's a self generated obstacle, the negative talk inside your head that keeps you down, too afraid to go for what you want. There are many types of noise, and in each chapter of this book, with each new rule, I'll also talk about a specific kind of noise that tends to crop up along with that rule. Noise can come in many forms—food noise, money noise, beauty noise, relationship noise, family noise, call it what you will—each person develops personalized noise, but in general, noise is that feeling you get that you aren't good enough, or you don't deserve what you want, or you'll never be able to be the person you wish you could be.

Noise holds you back. It psychs you out. It distracts you and blocks you and makes you believe there are insurmountable obstacles in your path. If you have noise that you don't recognize and can't control, and I say to you, "All you have to do is come from a place of yes," what you hear is, "All you have to do is quit your job and get a new one" or "All you have to do is eat less and exercise more" or "All you have to do is leave him" or "All you have to do is push this two-ton boulder up this mountain.

It's too hard. Noise makes it too hard. You can't do it because you don't know how. You're too overwhelmed. The noise in your own head is too loud. As much as you want to change things, noise is the elephant in the room that makes something achievable into something seemingly impossible.

Noise tells you to eat a bag of cookies when you are trying to lose weight. It tells you not to ask for a raise because your boss will laugh at you or tell you that you don't deserve it. It tells you that you won't ever be in shape enough to be seen at the gym so you might as well not bother exercising at all.

It tells you that nobody good will ever fall in love with you. It convinces you that you are predetermined to live the life your parents are leading or led, or that you will never live up to what they expect, or that you can't really be who you want to be. Noise convinces you that you don't really deserve love, that you will never make enough money to stop worrying, or that you are just one of those people who can't be happy.

Noise bullies you until it gets its way. In fact, if you feel bullied by other people, you are probably actually being bullied by your own noise, which can make you feel like a victim. I'll never forget the night I was lying in bed with Jason discussing our future. We didn't agree about everything we wanted in our lives, so I immediately thought that meant we had no future.

I hadn't yet learned that two people can build goals together, and that our desires can evolve. Before I met him, I had almost given up — I had assumed that I could have some of the things I wanted, but not all of the things I wanted. I had come to terms with the idea that my career came first so that was what I would get — a great career. Maybe I would find a way to have a baby and raise it myself. I was resigned. Even after meeting him, I didn't think I could have it all.

So even when Jason told me that he wanted a commitment and a family, I didn't consider that as a real option for me. It seemed impossible. I couldn't believe it. My noise was wrong — as noise always is. Noise comes out of past experiences where you were hurt or scared or just didn't learn how to believe in yourself. It can start from one comment someone made to you years ago that you believed, or it can come out of years of abuse or neglect.

Noise makes you give up, settle, accept less than you wanted, or never try for the thing you want the most. Without recognizing your noise, you won't be able to come from a place of yes. Noise is strong and has power. Your noise might be in a different category than my noise, or you might have noise in all the same places. There is childhood noise — the noise that repeats all those stories that you have learned about yourself based on what your family told you, that holds you back from growing up.

There is career noise — the noise that tells you that you don't deserve to get ahead, that you aren't qualified to be where you are, or that you'll never be able to have the job that makes you happy. There is food noise — the noise that urges you to binge or starve or beat yourself up if you were "bad. There is beauty noise that tells you that you won't ever be beautiful because of this or that feature.

Imagine if Lauren Hutton, with the gap in her teeth, or Cindy Crawford, with her beauty mark, or Barbra Streisand, with an imperfect nose, had listened to beauty noise? Thank goodness they didn't change a thing about their beautiful faces. There is relationship noise — the noise that encourages you to endure horrible relationships, or attracts you to the wrong men, or tells you that you should get married now or you might never get another chance, or tells you to run whenever a relationship gets serious.

Your noise will change as your life changes. Now that I have a baby, I have parenting noise and sleep noise and breast-feeding noise. Sometimes I lie awake and wonder, am I doing it right? What if I mess up my daughter? This noise is totally new for me but there it is — noise can come and go according to what is happening to you right now. You might have other kinds of noise, too. Friendship noise, sibling noise, sex noise, clutter noise, body noise, cooking noise— whatever your issues are, whatever holds you back or stresses you out, that's where your noise is.

Fortunately, like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, your noise has a counterpart: it is your voice. Your voice knows what's good for you and right for you and what is authentic to who you really are. It tells you what to do, why you are good, and why you deserve the best. It shows you the map for reaching your dreams, and when you learn to hear it and ignore the noise, the noise gets quieter and the voice gets louder. This is the key to unlocking the best parts of yourself.

When you are used to your loud, rude, clamoring noise, your voice can be hard to hear. But it's in there. A Place of Yes is about how I found mine, and how finding your voice and learning to listen to it can allow great things to start happening to you.

Because you'll stop getting in the way. Sometimes your noise will be louder than other times. Sometimes you'll listen to it and go the wrong way. You'll make mistakes. That's life. Part of coming from a place of yes is to accept that you screwed up and move on. Forgive yourself and don't dwell in the past. It's okay because it has to be okay. It's what happened. If you can make something good out of a mistake or learn something from it, you are coming from a place of yes. If you keep moving forward, despite your mistakes, and if you keep trying, even when you fail, your voice will lead the way and you can always find your way back to your path forward.

If you have read my books or watched my shows, you know I'm not perfect and I don't have life totally figured out and under control. I will never pretend to have all the answers. I'm just someone who has learned how to stop getting in my own way more often than not. I'm on a path just like you are, but I'm managing my noise and I've learned how to make things happen in my life. I've finally found my voice. My Story and Yours I've put my experiences into a framework of rules, to make my personal lessons relatable and to help encourage you to go for yours.

I show you how I climbed out of an unhappy childhood, dealt with the aftershocks of a dysfunctional family, built my business despite the obstacles, and got healthy and fit. I say what I mean and honesty matters to me, so don't expect me to dress it up for you or make it look pretty—it isn't always easy to go for your dreams, and life can get messy sometimes. It can even break your heart.

I have given up a lot to get where I am today. I've worked harder than I ever thought possible, practically killing myself to achieve my dreams. I've taken on too much, broken down in tears—it has not been easy. But I got through the bad parts and so can you. There will always be more challenges ahead—but now you have the tools to tackle them. Part of me has always said yes to my own life, even when the yes was nearly drowned out by my noise.

That yes inside me was the part of me that recognized when something was a career opportunity or a life opportunity. That was the part of me that recognized Jason and the part of me that recognized that I didn't have to settle or give up anything I really wanted. Thank goodness I listened. Are you listening to your voice? Because I learned to listen to my voice instead of my noise, I have gone from unemployed actress to sometimes-successful entrepreneur to personal celebrity chef to television personality to bestselling author, and that's just a partial job history.

I've also gone from food-obsessed to healthy, money-challenged to comfortable, commitment-phobic to blissfully newlywed. I still struggle with noise, I don't always make good decisions about what to eat and drink, Jason and I get in fights just like any other couple, and I still have anxiety about money.

I've suffered a lot, worried a lot, wasted a lot of time, stressed myself to the point of breaking, endured tragedy, but I've finally found some peace. Take It or Leave It The last concept I'd like you to understand before we start with the rules is one I'll refer to often throughout this book. I call it take it or leave it. You can apply this to relationships, family, career, money, or any other aspect of your life — even cooking.

In fact, I first came up with the concept in the kitchen while renovating recipes. Here's how it works.